Smoke and Mirrors
Recently I read an article about “gray divorce” – a trend in several countries among people in their fifties, sixties, or seventies getting divorced after decades of marriage. The article mentioned a few reasons why the phenomena exists, but was mostly about the effects on divorcing couples’ adult children. Many wondered if the marriage had ever been a love match, or if it had all been an illusion of “smoke and mirrors.”
Lately, I’ve realized I’m feeling the same way about our nation. Were the dreams and promises of “liberty and justice for all” an illusion? The promise of freedom just smoke and mirrors?
We are a deeply divided country, a country in deep trouble, moving further apart and further from that beacon of hope daily.
An honest reflection of our nation’s almost two hundred and fifty year history proves that the good old days weren’t good for everyone. They weren’t good for child laborers, for mistreated immigrants seeking a better life, for Native Americans forced from their homelands, or for enslaved persons. They weren’t necessarily good for the women whose rights were restricted, those minorities who struggled to cast a vote or find a job that paid decent wages, those whose love had to be hidden, or those differently-abled who were ostracized, pitied, or bullied.
Examining policies and practices toward women proves this isn’t an ancient history lesson. Women were granted the vote in 1920; gained the right to a minimum wage in 1937; were mandated equal pay for equal work in 1963; allowed to file for a no-fault divorce in 1969; could finally apply for a credit card without a man in 1974…and the list goes on.
The glass ceiling still exists, the voices of women whose bodies have been violated still cry out in the abyss, and women still earn only 83 cents for every dollar a man earns.
But this isn’t just about women.
It’s also about all the millionaires and billionaires who rake in piles of money while barely paying their employees a living wage.
It’s about discrediting and firing people without cause simply because their political ideology differs from your own.
It’s about denying those different from you (whether by race, religion, physicality, sexual orientation, appearance, national origin, etc.) the same rights and privileges you feel you’ve earned as an American.
It’s about trampling on constitutional rights, unnecessarily calling out military forces, and vindictively punishing anyone who criticizes the those in office. It’s about gerrymandering voting districts to unfairly influence outcome. It’s about weaponizing government agencies. It’s about attempting to control the narrative and the media.
This is not the America I love. This is not the country I learned about as a child. Sadly, I’m starting to fear it never was.
Were we brainwashed with patriotic rhetoric? Did our political leaders ever share the same Utopic visions of equal opportunity I did? Was the belief that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are unalienable rights just an idealistic myth?
I don’t want to believe that. I’m not ready to give up on my country, but I am tired of the fighting, tired of the chaos, tired of the finger pointing and holier-than-thou attitudes.
I don’t know the answers, but maybe we start with kindness. Maybe we start with truly listening to each other.
Entering into a dialogue with a goal of winning doesn’t work in marriage or democracy. For better or worse, we are in this together. Let’s talk about the end goal. Do we want the America our forefathers envisioned? Do we still seek to form a more perfect union?
Are we working to provide Justice and insure Domestic Tranquility? Are we working to secure the Blessings of Liberty for ALL.
America is big enough for us all, and we have more in common than we believe. We can work this out.
Let’s do it for the kids.